Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Reel to real life - How I dealt with my addiction!

 


Out of all the indulgences I have, movies occupy the first place. They have so far completely engaged me, been my vent out, de stressed me, been my great connector with friends, etc. But not until one of my closest friends who I regard as my elder brother ('Anna') actually pointed out, I did not realise that I was actually getting addicted to movies. I would watch atleast 10-12 movies a week (with atleast one movie a day), always talk about movies, etc. I would keep looking at all the movies in the OTT platform, reading reviews, wanting to watch a new release first, etc. It gave me a kick.

But then, until Anna pointed out, I never acknowledged that I was a "movieaholic" (so addicted to movies that I cant live without them). I was so bad that it totally affected the time I spent time with family. Since all I wanted to do during free time was watching movies, Mayura (my wife) had no other go than to watch movies with me. She was never into movies before marriage but now she had no other go. I would not take her interests seriously at all. Even if she watched any movie with me, it would the ones I liked only.

Anna gave me a challenge to cut out movies completely through the week. The only time I was allowed to watch a movie was with Mayura - that too a movie of her choice.
As it is with any addiction, the first few days are the craziest. I had enormous withdrawal symptoms - I just would sign into to Netflix / prime and then tell myself to back out. Friends would call me for a movie night, and I would politely deny. But doing that opened up an area which I completely neglected - Family time.

Whenever I got the urge, i spent more time with my daughter, had more fruitful conversations with Mayura and had cooking and walking sessions together.

Mayura is a very calm and accomodating person. She has always adjusted for me and cared for me. While I have been the selfish type, she has always been the supportive type. As the days had gone by, I realised how I had taken her time for granted and been self absorbed - both at work and fun. Though I had felt ashamed on one side, it also increased my resolve to get out of my addiction.

It was the Saturday of the first week. Anna gave me permission to watch a movie of choice (Mayu's choice). So I went upto Mayu and said, "Mayu, lets watch a movie together. And you pick the movie you like!"

She was confused. "You asking me for a movie? Am I in a dream?" I reassured her and told her to select one. I hated romantic and comedy movies which Mayu loved. My favourite was suspense and thriller movies. I told myself that come what may, I would watch the movie with her.

Plus I told myself , "Big deal if the movie doesnt interest me. It is the time I spend with her that matters. In fact I would focus more on it and not watch the movie!"

It took Mayu some half an hour. She finally picked a movie and screened it on the TV. I was anticipating a romantic movie and I was getting ready the popcorn. Just then a familiar sound from the TV drew my attention.
To my pleasant surprise, it was a latest Suspense movie that had released. I was overjoyed but I controlled myself and asked Mayu, "Mayu why did you pick this? Its suspense! It has to be your choice!"

For which she replied, "The idea is for us to enjoy. Time spent with you matters most. A movie that you like would make you happy, and me happy as well!"

"Big deal if the movie doesnt interest me. It is the time I spend with her that matters. In fact I would focus more on it and not watch the movie!"

BANG.

I couldnt react.  I felt guilty and ashamed. Here was a person who truly loved me. I just smiled and hugged her. True, it is not what we actually do but the quality time we spend with people we love that matters.

For the first time ever, I did not pay attention to the movie at all and spent time with her. It didnt matter who dunnit in the movie. I dont even remember the characters in the movie now. She had won me over by her unconditional love - True Love. Also, I realised one has to be clear on ones priorities!

P.S. - Its been three weeks now, I am slowly getting out of my movie addiction. And all movies I have watched are Mayu's choice. Friends - In case you are planning a night show without family - Cut me out! Or ask Anna permission - he will give you a kick

1 comment:

  1. Excellent. Even Mayu is lucky to have you in her life 🙂

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